i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
