I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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