I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
