it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize