apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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