Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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