I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
