She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
