You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
smell my finger.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think your dad took our porno
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
