I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
