Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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