matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is Oprah even human
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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