Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
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I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My life is pants optional.
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