shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My cat gives me a boner
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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