we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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