Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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