What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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