I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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