toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
