there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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