Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
