My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
