good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
