I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
