just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
