I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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