New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
