I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
