she looked like the before picture.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
