I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
