I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
