Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She bit a glass in half.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
