my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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