i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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