Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize