omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
