Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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