Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
