He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
