You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize