she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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