I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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