OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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