sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
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I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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