That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize