worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
