Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
its not stalking. its research.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
