I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
