When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
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she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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