I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
