So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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