Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
