What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
