I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
