This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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