you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize