The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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