i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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