Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
