omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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