I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
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So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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